A Blessed Beltane it is, indeed. I am under the weather from the anti biotics and pain killers, so I won't be performing any ritual until I feel better. But I'd like to extend my greetings and blessings upon everyone.

Aside from my recent health issues, (just tonsilitis, and they are coming out in a few weeks) it seems my life is falling into place. While working shortened hours at the hotel, I've found my way into a part time position at my favorite restaurant in all of Portland. I may end up moving there full time, as soon as a position opens. Being able to work there, in an invironment that is fun, healthy for me, and has a great reputation; compared to the hotel with all it's corporate hypocrocies and people with bad attitudes and worse energies (just a select few people, some of them are awesome!) I've found a good balance in my work. 

I am finally seeing my immediate family again after two years apart. It will be wonderful to be able to hug my brothers and kiss my mom's check and tell her I'm fine. Now, a complete healing would take place if only I could see all my friends and loved ones I've left in Montana! But alas, it seems that will have to wait. ... Though a few friends are visitng at the end of June, and I'm super excited about that! ... You should all come visit me, really!

 

And last, but obviously not least, .... in my life, I've always had a sence of romanticism, wither based on relationships or life in general. I feel so complete in the way I'm living and loving. Having the freedom and choice to love, or not to,... and being able to take care of myself, by myself, is the most amazing feeling in the world. Let me just say thanks to those in my life who made this line of thinking and living possible. You Fucking Rock.

May the Great Lovers find happiness and bliss in each other's embrace tonight, and throughout the spring! And may you each do the same.

 

Twilight and Beauty,
Saraid

Such spiritual release... I have finally found someone who understands, and feels, as much as I do when it comes to, well, how shall I put this? Bondage? Sex? No, it was more than that. It was a connection with the Divine, and I wasn't alone in that feeling. I've not felt this relaxed in months. And this is even better than the last time, because it's reciprocated. 

 

Spring has returned to this part of the earth, and there is nothing so pleasureable (or, nearly so) as feeling the warm breeze blow in my hair, on my face; carrying with it tiny sprinklings of nurishing rain. I feel a change coming. Winds of Change, is a phrase that's been whispering in my ears for weeks now. With this year, great change and growth will occur. 

 Blessed Ostara to my circles, here in Portland, and back in Great Falls. Your love is felt, appreciated, and returned.

 

Twilight and Beauty,

Saraid 

"With the snow fallen thick
And bonfires alit
And shooting stars portents of rips
I ascended to spur
A mere glimpse of murmur
From her precious celestial lips

Be it sun to your moon
"Be it moon to your sun"
Together we promised to come
With a turn of the screw
And a slip of the tongue
We eclipsed one another undone

Through the mist, through the woods
With the night-wraiths I've stood
Atop murderous peaks calling you
On storm-lashed beachheads
Where the fisherman dread
The things your bewitchments accrue

Those deep creatures bring
Her cut diamond rings
A girl with a pearl necklace her
Advancing in fevers
Tsunamis and myrrh
Will she wreak bloody vengeance or purr?

(Or will she purr? I'll bet she will...)

She lights the skies
Dressed in silver scales plucked from the ocean
To spite her thighs
That Lucifer snuck inside
And with his pride
Enclaves were upgraded to Goshen
So paradise
Could shine from out her skirts

"I adorn myself at dusk
With ornaments to close the noose
A kiss as red as blood and cold as hell

My body glows with lust
Anaemic as the flag of truce
I raised at dawn to catch you in my spell"

With every twist I cannot resist her
Fertile female mind control
This wanton witch, white rapids sister
To whom I pour my wine and soul
(and here we go again...)

From a copse of black yews
Where the moon was drawn through
Like a sword through a Gordian knot
She descended to me
Claiming swift victory
Over the heart I had near soon forgot

With every kiss this huntress whispered;
"Yield to my sweet embrace
One night of bliss". I could not dismiss her
Once her beauty shot me a darker face

You mesmerise my soul Diana
You mesmerise my soul..."

"Under a Huntress Moon", Cradle of Filth, "Thornography"

No other reason for posting today. I'm just obsessed with this song.

Praise to my Lady Persephone, soon to return from her Throne!

Twilight and Beauty,
Saraid

Once again, I found something on another's blog here, that I found so lovley that I had to post it. She didn't know who the author was, and so niether do I.

 

Being Witnessed

When we allow ourselves to be witnessed by another, we cannot help but be transformed by the experience. Whether we are sharing a personal experience, standing in front of friends to celebrate a special occasion, or expressing our unbridled joy or sorrow in front of a loved one, we are allowing ourselves to be seen and experienced in a very intimate way. Not only are we baring ourselves to someone else, but we are allowing that person to hold a very specific kind of space with us so this powerful act can take place. To be witnessed is to let ourselves be seen as we truly are in that moment.

Our friends and loved ones can easily be witnesses for us, if only we are brave enough to let them. Your next birthday may be the perfect occasion to experience this sacred act: Invite your friends and loved ones to your special day. During the celebration, stand in front of them and thank them for being there for you. Feel their gratitude, attention, warmth, and support, while noticing the sense of safety you feel as they surround you. If you feel inspired, share your innermost thoughts about the day and your life. You may be surprised at the feelings of peace and validation that arise within you, when you feel safe enough to go deep into your soul and share yourself with those you trust.

Anyone who has ever seen love, admiration, acceptance, or appreciation reflected in a friend or loved one's eyes knows how transformative that experience can be. When you bare yourself to another, you are giving them the gift of you and showing them that they also matter. In letting yourself be witnessed, you are letting others into your intimate space, stepping in the sacred container they have created for you, and creating a cauldron of positive affirmation, support, love, and goodwill that will stay with you forever.

 

 But how true! I thought when I read this how that is why I love my friends, my family (and my friends are my family too!) and why I love to write. It's showing my soul to someone, and it is so very intimate. And the energy when you share with loved ones is one of the best things about living. 

I see a beauty in what I've written. And beauty in what I've started to write recently. But it's something I've never seen before. I have truly changed, seeing things differently. The problem this is causing me is that I am torn between cooking as a career, or singing and writing as a career. Iknow I have a better chance of making a living as a cook, but I'm really not happy where I am right now. It oculd be my job, as high stress and volume as it is. Maybe I should look for a smaller place to work. Somewhere where I will be happy. Then, I think, I will also be able to search out this music path. Combining both would be ideal, and would make me very very happy. So, that's my goal now. The singing chef.

 In the meantime, I found a few Ben Jonson poems I've fallen in love with...

HYMN TO THE BELLY

Ben Jonson

ROOM! room! make room for the bouncing Belly,

First father of sauce and deviser of jelly;

Prime master of arts and the giver of wit,

That found out the excellent engine, the spit,

The plough and the flail, the mill and the hopper,

The hutch and the boulter, the furnace and copper,

The oven, the bavin, the mawkin, the peel,

The hearth and the range, the dog and the wheel.

He, he first invented the hogshead and tun,

The gimlet and vice too, and taught 'em to run;

And since, with the funnel and hippocras bag,

He's made of himself that now he cries swag;

Which shows, though the pleasure be but of four inches,

Yet he is a weasel, the gullet that pinches

Of any delight, and not spares from his back

Whatever to make of the belly a sack.

Hail, hail, plump paunch! O the founder of taste,

For fresh meats or powdered, or pickle or paste!

Devourer of broiled, baked, roasted or sod!

And emptier of cups, be they even or odd!

All which have now made thee so wide i' the waist,

As scarce with no pudding thou art to be laced;

But eating and drinking until thou dost nod,

Thou break'st all thy girdles and break'st forth a god.

 

 

The Gypsies Metamorphosed
       The faery beam upon you,
      The stars to glister on you ;
            A moon of light,
            In the noon of night, Till the fire-drake hath o'ergone you !
The wheel of fortune guide you,
The boy with the bow beside you ;
            Run aye in the way,
            Till the bird of day,
        And the luckier lot betide you

 

Twilight and Beauty,

Saraid 

" Dannu, your lonely son calls out. Hear my cries I beg of you. Your fires burn low, beneath the past I go for you. You feel the pain a banished God knows. Your lonley son goes where, where you may go. You feel the pain a banished god knows." "Dannu", Geasa, "Angel's Cry" 

 

Every time I hear this song, I mourn. I don't follow a Celtic path, but for some reason the story of Dannu breaks my heart. Maybe I followed her in past incarnation, who knows. If you want to check out this band, myspace.com/Geasa   They are amazing rockers.  

 

Recently, I've come to a cross roads in my life. Ever since I was, oh, 15 or 16, I knew I wanted to be a chef, and I wanted to own a restaurant or two.  Writing, singing, and forming a band was always a hobby, something to keep me occupied and happy. Well, after I went to the CoF show here earlier this week,  the two switched. I want nothing more now than to sing, and to create music to inspire and hearten others. And most of all, being in control of the energy created at a show, and being on stage, and the music! Ah, it's long been my belief that music is a gateway to other realms. I'm not anywhere near making any of this happen. the major obsticle in my way being that I am so commited to my current job and carreer, that even if I did find talented indiviuals to share in my dream, I don't have to time to spare. 

 

I've been assured by many close friends that I can do both, and since  I seem to have to be at least of legal drinking age to gig in this town, I think the best path for me now is to hone my skills, maybe finally learn to play keys and other instruments, and get the moolah together to make it work. And networking, of course. 

 

Twilight and Beauty,

 Saraid